Moments of emptiness

Doubling over in pain
I feel as though my chest is being pushed from the inside out
Every breath I manage to suck in
only makes the pain worse
Whispering to myself
"It's okay, it's okay, it will pass."
My hands start to tremble
I bite my lip
close my eyes as hard as possible
Rocking back and forth
The flood inside my chest
rocks violently as the waves slam into me
Forcing themselves out
They pour down my cheek
violent sobs escapes out from my lips
Time seems to stop as the storm takes place inside me
pouring out and making my eyes burn
Finally coming to an end
My head throbs its own little rhythm
As my throat screams in protest
The emptiness inside me feels as though it has been washed from me
Leaving me empty and numb
This feeling I welcome
No pain or grief
feelings of longing are as if they were never there in the first place
Thoughts about our last moments rush through my mind
Did she feel any pain?
Was she aware of what was going on?
even worse
was she scared?
Did she make it to heaven?