Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma,

Heaven has taken you so very far away from me

Sooner than expected, but for a reason

A reason only god knows, and understands

If you can see me, rest assured

From the outside you may see me acting out in grief,

But remember Grandma, you have raised a very smart young woman.

The things you see are only my way of processing the sadness I feel

On the inside I am still myself.

I cannot say this experience has not changed me, for it truly has.

I haven't known pain to this depth before. For this experience I will be a stronger woman, once I heel.

I haven't ever fully taken responsibility for my actions and acted as a adult. I always had you as my rock and my net.. To catch me whenever I fell.

I know your shaking your head as you read this and thinking I'm wrong about that

But its time I act as an adult, not saying that I haven't always acted very maturely.

Before you left I took life for granted. I always thought I didn't, but I never realized how suddenly life, whether that be your own or the life of someone very dear to you, could be stolen away from you.

From this experience I now understand how precious life truly is.

Also, before you left me, I never truly knew who my friends were...

I always knew people were my friends.. But not the degree that I have found some relationships to be. Now I have learned what it means to be a true friend and will continue to be that friend through out my life.



Grandma, you have taught me so many things. Without you I would not be, well me.... Everything about you defines who I have become.

I always looked up to you and will continue to. I know I still have a lot of growing to do and I hope as I continue to grow I will take on those traits that I admired in you so much.

You were the most patient person I knew. Don't get me wrong,you could be stubborn. But when it counted the most you were patient.

You believed in me like no one else did. Yes other people believed in me, but not the same way you did. You seen possibilities in me that no one else did. Because of that belief I have made it through school and am as far as I am.

I will continue to feel that belief you had in me, and do my best to push forward and keep challenging myself. I will do what you would want me to do, and be happy and never give up.

You taught me that when god closes one door he always opens another! And I should never dwell on the closed door, but seek the open door.

You also taught me to love with my whole heart! If I don't give my whole heart, how can I fully love with it? Sometimes your heart will get hurt, but you have to remember that your heart will heal and you have to try again. God wants us to seek out love, it is in our nature. So don't be afraid and run from it, but rather embrasse it.

You also always told me to never hid my feelings the way you did. If I felt like crying, than cry. You said it was a way of cleansing your soal....

You have taught me so many lessons in life.I will forever chairsh those lessons and pass them on.

You should know this grandma.You have seen me grow into the young woman I am, and were always so proud of me. Please do not worry about me, you have taught me everything I need to know. I promise I will do my best and make you proud of me in everything I do!

Rest well Grandma, I love you with all my heart!!



Crystal,
June 29th 2010